Archive for March, 2017


For the last three and a half weeks, it’s been a nightmare shocking whirlwind of the death of my father. For the first time here on WordPress, I’m going to summarize the feeling that I experienced losing Dad. This post will be in three parts.

The last time I saw my father alive was Sunday, February 19th, 2017. He was last looking at a picture album full of past funeral bulletins in the last decade or so. As my father was looking at the book and summarizing the funreal programs of my Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles (his parents and siblings) he realized to my mother that he was the last one. The last of the 10. My Dad was the youngest of the five brothers, my uncles. His last visit to my sister’s house in Milwaukee, was February 21st, 2017. He told my mother that he had to go to the store, and then home. He also told my sister that he was prepared to leave. That was the last time collectively within those two days we saw him alive.

A couple days later, my sister had to be admitted to the hospital for her health needs. And all day my mother had been calling Dad. Finding out where he was in all. No answer. Same day, no Answer.When Thursday came, I was going to my Aunt’s house to take over a recipe for a Black History Month Event at a Milwaukee Elementary School. It was a Thursday night watching Scandal and getting prepared. After a middle of that, I received a call from my mother to see how things are going.She also advised me to go over to the house to check in on Dad to see how he was doing. Plus again, no answer. So after I left my Aunt’s house I headed over my parents house. First I called into the house. No answer. Then I walked to the front door and rang the doorbell. Nothing.Then I checked the mailbox and it was full. That was odd to me because it’s not like my father to keep the mailbox this full. He usually takes in the mail and sorts it for myself, my sister and mother. Then I went around to the backdoor to try to gain access to the door. One vital factor,I needed the keys to get in. I had to return to my sister’s house to get the keys in my backpack. Then while I was there, I dropped off the cornbread and called the house to see if my father would pick up. I left a voicemail message to see if he would answer it. No avail. And I told myself that “if he doesn’t answer in the next fifteen minutes, I’m going over there.” So I got back in my mother’s minivan and returned to my parents house. Having a feeling of being scared I went inside just to see what’s been going on. I accessed the backdoor to get into the house yet again. While looking around I had my mother on the cell checking in. I looked upstairs to see if was there. Nothing. Along the way in the living room and nothing but his brown hoodie on the couch next to his Vietnam Veteran Flag. But then, I went downstairs to the basement, where his Entertainment Room was full of movies and CD’s, plus a table, an easel drawing from 1991. And my father was on the floor. I told my mother, “Mom, Dad’s on the floor!” And she asked “what do you mean he’s on the floor?” I called out to Dad to wake him up. Even I shook him a bit to wake him up. I checked his pulse on his neck and wrist. No pulse. Nothing. Then I told Mom that he was not responding.  I called 911 to have the parimedics to come, and while they were arriving I turned him over to have him face up, then did the CPR compressions to try to revive him. His head was slightly bloodied appeared he hit his head hard. And his Right Arm was bloodied with his blood tissue sticking out.  (Warning Graphic Words) When the Parimedics came, they took over and asked the questions. Moments later my mother called to see if we’re there any results, but the bad news that my father who gave me his name….had been dead for two days. I was shocked and numb! And sad. My mother and sister: Sad. Grieving. I was in disbelief. MY OWN FATHER!!! My 69 year old father, died. I was just absolutely shocked sad and numb all around. Later on , the Milwaukee Police Department came over to investigate the basement where he died. And between the police and the Parimedics, I had to answer the tough questions like: “When was the last time you talked with him?” My mind kept thinking back to Sunday, February 19th for a reason. In which that was the final time I saw him alive. Another question: “What kind of medications was he taking? He was taking his medications to upkeep his health, including his blood sugar to see how he was doing in which at the time was his focus. “Was he a smoker? At the time, Dad quit smoking in October 2009 after a major colon surgery. Which he lived to talked about it. And other Health conditions in all. With all that going on, I had to take control of the situation. I didn’t panic, nor freak out. I maintained my composure, answered the many questions as possible and they were impressed. I told them about the work history of what my father did from Allis Chalmers, Pfister and Vogel Tannery, the VA Medical Center and the US Postal Service. Plus I mentioned his military service with the US Army and served during the Vietnam War. I also described an attire that he wore the most of his dark blue shirts, blue jeans & shoes. He usually dressed like that in order to do work around the house, or other houses if needed.

My relatives mostly my cousins, aunt’s and uncles, all came over. Plus for a stint, it was dead silence. And the thunderstorm was brewing above with hailstones early Friday Morning. Later, my pastor and his wife came over to check out the situation. After many was assembled we all had prayer. I started to say that “you know me since the beginning. You know what I’m about”. After the prayer, I was given the honors to cover up my Dad with a yellow sheet. But before I did that, I uttered the words “you empowered me sir. You Empowered me!” And I made another vow “I got your back.” After I covered him up, I went back upstairs with the family by shutting the doors. Plus there were others from the Milwaukee County Coroner’s office wanted additional info to provide in all. Moments later, my pastor and one of my older cousins wanted to see Dad. I took them downstairs to the room, uncovered the sheet and at the moment, my pastor have given a prayer at the spot. He wanted to see him, and he did. Not a good look for my cousin’s reaction with grief. After that, we went back upstairs with me covering up the sheet and closing the door. Much later, I felt I needed to take a break, and sat in my Dad’s bedroom. Then, my mother came in the house, sobbing. And she called out my name when I was upstairs. I went to her immediately and hugged her tight. She thanked me for coming over knowing that I had felt scared of what happened to Dad. She was relieved of that part. Later on she wanted to go downstairs to see Dad. Along the way, she saw his last meal of greens and Barbecue Porkchops. As myself, my mother and uncle went downstairs, I opened the doors and the three of us hugged each other tightly while grieving. All she saw was him covered up except his foot. And after that, I closed the doors to his Entertainment room. Much later, here come the Undertakers. The representatives from a local Funeral Home stopped by to get Dad out of the room and with him covered. They got him and took him away to do further summarizations of his death and what lead to it.

After that, I looked to the heavens and told my late grandparents, aunts and uncles that “S.T. is home.” Meaning that he was on his way to be with them. S.T. was my Dad’s nickname growing up.

Many of us had our hugs, but I had many of them the most. After all that, this was the most hard beginnings I began to endure.

Part two of “Losing Dad” will continue featuring the hard facebook post, and preparations for his funeral.

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2 weeks ago, as many already know that my father passed unexpectedly. And it was a shock to my family. As I reflected and reviewed with solace and bereavement, there were times I had a wave of emotions of Dad being there. In his Entertainment Room not moving. Even sentences of Frederick Douglass like “without struggle we cannot progress”. Every time I think about those words especially when those I know pass on, it is a struggle. That is what I felt all this time. Plus the word of empowerment popped up in mind even more. 
I want to say to everyone on behalf of my sister and my mother: thank you. Thank you all for the acknowledgements, sympathies, inspirational messages of faith, prayers, cards, texts, and support in this hour of need.
Last year, I was reminded of my Dad said about leaving a mark. In his words, “I want to leave a mark.” By the looks of what I saw of the folks that came out for the funeral, for every mark left, even the committal service, that I think was Dad’s doing. No question about it. I know that August 18th will not be the same. That would have been his #70 coming up. December 20th won’t be the same. That is the anniversary of my parents marriage. And at Christmas Time, I give them both Christmas and Anniversary cards at the same time. That was fun. 
In between I will never forget the memories nor the lessons learned. And to those that reached out, I’ll reach back. I know that this will take time, but with the support of you, it will make me to have hope to move forward. 
Yes, my father had a good run. Make that a great run. 69 years strong. I am indeed a Veteran’s Son. πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈβœŠ
Thank you, folks


 

 

Folks: I haven’t been on the blogs as of much. A primary reason because of a extreme matter that took place. My father recently passed on at 69 years old in Milwaukee, and like many in my family, we are saddened and shocked by his death. How did I felt really? This my statement via my Facebook page from February 24th, 2017:

I have breaking news to share. And I don’t know if I have the bravery to say this but I’ll manage. Folks, I am shocked and numb now to say that my Father, whom I’m named after,  is now passed. Us in the family are taking this hard that this has occurred. Literally I know that when I hear folks passing away yes I feel this sympathy to be close. I also have this option to say to those that yes is to learn the lessons to move forward. Now it’s time for myself and my sister, to learn the lessons that my father taught us. For those of you that lost Fathers, I will listen to you. I will learn what you went through in order for me, my sister and most definitely my mother will take to move forward. My father was the last of his McClinton family bunch to pass on. And knowing my family will feel it knowing he’s in a better place.  One thing for I know, Dad didn’t play. He was a straight shooter all the way and knowing yes was fair. There been many times that for financial reasons whether my sister or I had little money on hand or no money on hand:  he was there. For moral support, he was there. He was there for my church (the same church that he was a member since 1969), things to fix around the house all the time. He was known to have a Corvette for alot of years, even a Honda V45 Manga Motorcycle, a Ford Truck, and a Cadillac Escalade. He also was known for his art talent of old school portraits, woodworking, at one time, playing a guitar, and of course gadgets and CPU’s  – in which I got him interested. But mostly: he was known for being a Veteran of the Armed Forces. Served in the US Army between 1966-1968 before the tet offensive in Vietnam. Married to my mother since 1969 and again raised me and older sister. Plus he was an Alumni of the Milwaukee Public Schools. He went to Lee Elementary School, Roosevelt Middle School, and a true Blue Devil out of North Division High School “when it was real”, as he stated. And the jobs: Allis Chalmers, Pfister and Vogel Tannery, VA Medical Center and mostly the US Postal Service for his work for 27 years of service.
Yes I am sad, shocked and numb right now. And the pinch ain’t good. I will do my best to make sure that his memory as he stated last year: Leaving a mark. In which he did. My father Empowered (and I mean EMPOWERED) me to be the best of I do. Same with my sister. No question.  I’ll be in and out of Social Media as this long process of setting up my Dad’s Service of life. That is all. Send condolences to my family at this time if you wish.
Thank you.
At this time, I’ll be on a short hiatus with the planning of my Father’s funeral. Meanwhile, we ask for prayers and support in the hour of bereavement.