For the first time ever on this blog, I’m taking a viewpoint that coincides with part of my silence of my personality. It’s really something that was overlooked and avoidable. And the act of levels.
Ladies and Gentlemen, children of all ages, Saints and Aints. I have a confession to make. I am an introvert. I am a introverted black male. Now before anyone gets on my case about silent black men, don’t always assume that us silent introverted brothas know things that our extroverted brothas and sisters know.
Like many of you, whom are introverted and proud, I too had the following questions like:
Why you so quiet?
Why didn’t you talk to me?
You going to go anti-social on me and not say nothing?
Tell me I’m not alone.
I had friends, teachers, church members, and even some family members all coming at me with those same questions. And for many years of my life, it seems like I’m hurting them if I don’t speak. Or its a blunt disrespect of me of not saying “hello so and so” on a warm day.
Really I’m not trying to be a mean snob. Or this hellacious Son Of a B that don’t speak. In reality I do speak, but just not like those whom are down the street. And also not being way too loud like those hollering in church.
I had a church member whom is deceased, but was really an introvert in his right as a black man. He was the first black architect in the State of Wisconsin designing buildings and landscapes. Plus he was a treasurer of my church for many years. Even though it was his silence at times was known, the work was done. Plus he was a Veteran of the US Army as a Tech Sergeant.
But what I’m trying to get at, black men at all times don’t have to be all extroverts. But also introverts. And to our old school elders and those keep asking and demanding lectures of speaking: NEWSFLASH – We are fine! There is nothing wrong with us. Many of us probably can’t help it. And of course it’s not much of a curse.
Recently, I stumbled onto an article that I found interesting with the subject of Black Introversion. And I have to say, this article alone probably coincides with my black introverted self. And by the way, the “Young Champ” deserves kudos for the viewpoints. There have been many pointers that I totally agree with the authors point of view.
I don’t speak much or show much emotion, someone thinks something is wrong with me or that I’m upset, and they eventually learn that I’m fine.
Embrace who you are. Seriously. It’s ok.
This is highly real talk. No one has the right to change you for no reason. If some whatchamagigger tries to change you to be like them, it’s for the birds. Just a thought.
Being an introvert is not an excuse for being an a**hole.
Again: we in the introvert land even as Black Introverts are NOT SNOBS. We are not haters. We’re just like others, but different. Are extrovert folks A-holes too? Ponder that.
As a Black man, you may have to do a little extra to convince people you’re not slow, shy, stupid, or scary
Like anything that deals with Black Folks, we all have to work TWICE as hard. No matter what. Even to convince those whom we don’t know are not as shy, or bashful like many you think! I’ve been accused of this. Maybe because we Black Male Introverts haven’t been taught that. Remember those Easter Speeches as kids in Church? Where we didn’t say much, but then got the belts, and switches by our parents? Telling the truth. Oh,that time that you have to be in the background ALL THE DANG TIME WORKING and actually doing something than nothing not to get picked on or fired? Or in my extra job experience about not being “informative on their level” which I think it’s a disgrace. Reference Coakley Tech.
And the last pointer from the article:
You know one of the main reasons why being yourself is so important? If you do it, women will like you.
Let me paraphrase, in the words of my former pastor: You know one of the main reasons why being yourself is so important? If you do it, women and/or men will like you.
Always remember that you are not a copycat. No one deserves to be a copy of anykind. Period. I don’t care if you’re reading this with shock or nothing new. We all have a right to be ourselves. If you went through hell fire and brimstone (excuse my french) during your growth to adult hood full of those so-called appointments to doctors about not showing pain, or supposed to be this one guy that has to answer all those questions just to impress some chick, or have to be external in church because of some soon to be dissapointment to be watched if making a mistake, then you are sadly mistaken. Back around in the 1990’s or so, there was a guest on the Maury Show, or one of those shows, that had a tall older Caucasian woman who was about 7’7″. And for many years of her life, she was ridiculed or picked on, or ganked on if you will all because of her height.But one pointer she commented that “If everyone in the world were to be the same, this would be a pretty boring world.” I thought about that for the last almost 19 years, and it still rings true today! Shoot, there are tall females today that can dunk basketballs! If everyone right now in this Smartphone, Social Media, I wanna be like Jay Z or Beyonce or Nicki Minaj or dab like Cam Newton (which Dee Brown Started that years ago in NBA Slam Dunks) or whatever, were the same as them, it would be awfully boring!
Yes, we have came along way. Too far for the majority. But we all have the right to be different in any way. Even if we hate Radical Republicans, or Crazy Christians that use the book and cling onto guns! We know. And yes those who flock to Foot Locker for Air Jordan’s and refusing to vote but complain!
But for all those who worry about Introverts in any situation, and thinking that’s it’s a phase they might grow out of it, it’s not going to work that way. Introverts who are more thinking with the brain than the mouth, are not going to budge. Not even me. Well y’all just going to have to pray for us until Jesus comes. Or while that happens, don’t judge us Introverts and especially us Black Introvert Males who sit and think and watch and listen all the time. Especially Black Introverted Women. I’m not judging them and neither should you. And yes, the bar is still open for drinks.
But to end the lesson, just remember the quote like The Beatles say: Let it be.
For my Introvert Brothers and Sisters: we’re all family now. We all have to learn to embrace this gift. It’s fine. Many close to us will or might not understand. But as long as we continue to conduct ourselves and remember ourselves of who we are, with those we love, they’ll give us love back!
Hopefully, we need more to learn.