I was just about to write about my commentary of the State of the Union Address, which was FAR MORE BETTER than Scott Walker’s State of State Address, but something told me that I should write about relationships and hook ups. Or should I say: “So-Called Relationships and Hook Ups”.
Allow me to do my Kevin Hart routine: Let me explain!
I’m on Facebook today, and I stumbled onto Michael Baisden’s page. His Baisden Live page is still active and yes, there was an on-going discussion about Single Black Men. His page on something like this in the beginning:
Where are the good single men who are employed, handling their business, with no baby mama mess, and not crazy? lol The good women want to know!!! Post your city and what makes you a good catch? (zodiac sign optional) Ladies, feel free to nominate a good man and post the link to his Facebook profile.
Seems like a legit start of things.
But check this. I’m reading the comment section, and I must ask, why were the WOMEN had to pitch in and comment on a MENS Comment tread?
And the thing is, there are those (hold your breath) who either are married or labeling us Dudes being mean and selfish while having good careers. Black women, if you reading this, and have commented on Baisden’s Men single posting, do you really believe that? You walk around being called Queens, but you better be careful how you use the word QUEEN! And us dudes, yeah we got KINGS in us. But you better be careful how you use the word KING! Because real KINGS and QUEENS don’t pop off at the mouth. Real KINGS AND QUEENS show up at the house or the place with respect and grace. REAL KINGS AND QUEENS don’t just display, they do. Obviously, the postings (mostly from the female side of things) were just comical. I mean really? They talk about finding a good man, but do they really keep one? Technically it was like one of those I need a man show thing. And the thing this is one of those things that I have to really say why I’m still single! It’s attitudes like this why this so-called relationship/hook up game is messed up to 100th degree! Oh, wait did I ruffle some feathers? I don’t ruffle feathers, I pluck them!
This silly thing reminds me of what I just heard today on WNOV. I’m glad Sherwin Hughes talked about this. In a portion of the show, he highlighted and a former 1290 WMCS caller named JJ had to rant with truth, that the males (really black males) gets blamed for everything! Even hated on by black women! – Note for the Queens. They also talked about being brainwashed about ballers and workers. Back in the 90’s as most of us should remember, the black women would go for the black men who were ballers. Those who have a job or a career, didn’t qualify. NOW….in 2014, it’s the black women going for the black male workers and leaving the black male ballers! For those who don’t know or forgotten what a baller is: From the Urban Dictionary it states by definition –
A thug that has “made it” to the big time. Originally referred ball players that made it out of the streets to make millions as a pro ball player, but now is used to describe any thug that is living large.
My question: what was wrong with the workers?! Oh so you now you do want the workers and ditch the ballers?!!! Really? – That mentality got messed up. And that influence probably got it from their friends, their inner circles, or better yet, probably generational! Yep you read that right. When was the last time you heard mom, or grandmother, or aunt ever said to you (the females) don’t bring no man home? Tell me I’m lying! And hearing all this talk about “All Men are the same”. Or the personal favorite, “All men ain’t Sh*t!” Well females, black sisters, black queens, I respect your game. But however your negative traits which directed at guys like me, and many others who you don’t know, can be as deadly as the black kings per say. Yep! that’s right I said it. There maybe something in your past, or in your current situation that is not letting you into the path for someone NICE to handle. They say “well the black men can’t handle a black woman like me.” Well exactly, what we “the black king mens panel of America” are supposed to handle? Some of us are out in the elements working our butts off like EVERYDAY. Punching the clock, making the deals, not trying to go to jail, at least trying to learn from our laurels, our mistakes, not trying to be a thug, or a pimp, or some “PUNK A** N*GGA” or a House N*gger/Negropeans all day everyday! It’s also interesting of the pick ups: We see you at the clubs, but what about the church? Uh-oh! Don’t start illing!
And the word, negropean? That’s a new one.
About a couple of years ago, I posted a blog about the note to the 70% African American Women: I’m Not a cure to your cancer. Go back and read it. Well, I hate to say, even in 2014, I ain’t no cure. When I see all of this, there’s got a be a cure for this. I’m not the cure. I’m just effected with the same disease of being disregarded and overlooked as next guy down the street. We work like hell and don’t get no credit. Oh, I’m going there TODAY! Plus remember when I said this?
“I need to ask this. Is this is what the whole relationship game is today? I mean seriously. Is this what the game is about, now? I’m confused. Another angle is related to black women. Let me paraphrase: Single Black Women. Those who are in that 70% group that are still single, looking for Mr. Right, those who say there are no good men around, and try to have that just kick it with me attitude. Or a “Ride or Die” moniker. I don’t what to call it. Again, confusion. I think I know one of the reasons why brothers like me are not chasing women is because of too many expectations out of us. Gotta have this, gotta have that. I feel like it’s the 90′s again. And plus I’m not a skirt chaser. Don’t get me wrong, you Black Women in the 70% group seem to have this independent mindset. I’m independent myself, but it may resort to asking too much; Sort of like of a job resume. For example, if someone looks at it for a new york minute, and perhaps might see a flaw of so many skills, chances are your employment development thing may not pass through. You have to trim it down and to simplify the bottom line. Or just highlight a few things that you, the “single black women seeking men” are looking for. (I said a few things!) In high-sight 20/20, maybe that is one of the problems of seeking a dude at a club on a Friday night. Or after-work. And we talk about the interracial thing, the gay thing, prison and many other things that plagues your opinions. But what about those who have never had the chance to run the field? The overlooked? Where are they? Those never had been thought about in a while. Those who never had a prom date, nor made homecoming king. And those you NEVER thought of. And check this out: You don’t usually see them in the clubs or bars as much. You partially see them in church, or at the library. Or just out shopping. Or just at a park. Or doing a volunteer thing at a local center. Hmmmmm: I think I fall into this. ”
That was from 2011 when I wrote the blog: “Oh, wait: Is this is what relationships are like now? Really?!!!!”
Plus when I did the things I want and don’t’ want to see blog, remember what I have written:
African-American Women (those in the 70%) and those who are successful businesswomen need stop complaining about having the various degrees of education and no man. Hey, I get it. But do you hear me complaining about this: “I have a Bachelors, Associates, High School Diploma, involved in activities, working, vote in every election, involved in Alumni Groups in all, and I can’t be down with a chick”. Apparently not.
This comment to me is like one of those special reports coming out of Steve Harvey. Plus also when I watched this clip from 20/20 years back, it resonates with the same topic. Remember this, black queens?
So to those who have this mentality, that’s the problem. My rant is just is: A rant in which that guys like me, will remain single. I hear and see all this mess and I do call it mess. A wise black woman once told me that if you aren’t mature to walk the aisle, don’t get married! REAL TALK! And partially, the streak of me being single is not a disease in the words of Michael Baisden.