Well by the time this story hits, that holiday thing of Valentine’s Day is probably in the books. Us guys are probably saying “Thank God this day is OVER!” But that’s for those who are in the relationships. But for those of us who never had that “proverbial sweetheart” and being constantly being looked over, not thought about, or hearing all the babble about us being no good, being all the same, and well, being not in the loop. Guess what, this for us. Now Single Females, you had your turn on TheGrio and many others, but it’s us guys, single guys to represent. I see you looking at this blog. Uh-huh.
Dear US Single men:
It’s me Stephen, and I happen to be a single black blogger from that city of Milwaukee.
Like many of you, I had to survive another Valentine’s Day being TOTALLY single. But that’s not a concern. This and like everyday.
Many of our friends, and family had to go to the parties and get the Valentine’s Day on in all, which is all the planning. We get it. Now according to Askmen.com they had an article on their site about how us single guys can indeed survive the VDay for 24 hours. They highlighted some very good points:
Valentine’s Day is normally a day to spend an exorbitant amount of money on gifts that normally cost half the price the other 364 days of the year: flowers, candy and even dinner prices get tripled because of all the suckers going all out on every Valentine’s Day purchase. Since you don’t have to worry about spending half your mortgage on gifts that don’t make it to the end of the week, take half of that money and spend it on yourself. Buy that gadget you’ve been eyeing since before Christmas, splurge on a new wardrobe or just drop it all on a guilty pleasure like a massage. Be your own Valentine. Do whatever the hell you want. Declare it a “Me Day” and go out and have fun. No one will even notice. They are all too busy crying and whining because they are not in — or sometimes because they are in — a relationship.
And they had several examples to point out:
Have a party
You were invited to a couple of parties, but respectfully declined because all the festivities would include couples. Why not go for a little while anyway? Drink and eat on another guy’s dime and still leave with time to go out and hit a couple of bars after the party hits the wall. You never know — a few single women could also be in attendance, upping your chances of getting a little box of chocolates of your own on V-Day (yes, that was supposed to sound perverted). You could also hit a bar, go to a show or anywhere else where other single people are hanging out.
Do nothing at all. Being single on Valentine’s Day is the one time you’re allowed a “Get Out Of Jail Free” card to spending money on booze and extracurricular activities your nonexistent girlfriend would probably disapprove of. Just stay home, veg out on the couch, and be glad you’re not dropping a couple of bills on overcooked steak and watered-down drinks. You can go out next weekend and rub all the money you saved in your hitched friends’ faces.
There’s lots more you can do if you’re going to spend Valentine’s Day alone…
Tear it up with your buds
Men always have at least one or two single friends. It’s just the law. Spend the night with the other guys who don’t have a significant other. Don’t settle for the typical night; make it a really big night. Go for dinner, drinks, to a bar or even for just a night of gambling at someone’s house. Blow off some steam and forget all about the love-and-hearts crap. You also don’t have to worry about any of the holiday talk creeping into the conversation unless it’s: “Man, am I glad I don’t have to waste time on that Valentine’s junk.”
Devote time to a neglected hobby
Men usually have at least one hobby. The hobby that calms your nerves and usually gets neglected when life gets too damn busy. Spend Valentine’s Day engrossed in your own guilty pleasure. Finally beat that video game you bought months ago, get back into running, working out, model ships, comic books, or whatever makes you happy. It will help you forget about Valentine’s Day and will give you a sense of accomplishment when you’ve completed the task.
Get out of town
If you’ve got the time and the extra cash, this might be the best opportunity to do some traveling. You don’t even necessarily have to leave the country (though it wouldn’t be a bad idea considering most countries don’t celebrate such a dumb holiday), because a trip in your own country might be just as much fun. Visit friends you haven’t seen in a while or just go explore a new town. Spend most of Valentine’s Day on a plane or in a car, and it’s pretty easy to ignore.
Do the usual
It’s Valentine’s Day. Big. Farking. Deal. Just because it’s a day that everyone else is celebrating doesn’t mean you’ve got to observe and celebrate. Just pretend it’s a normal day: go to work, go to lunch, go for after-work drinks, and do all the things you’d do on a normal, boring day. It only lasts 24 hours, and you spend the majority of that time in bed or at work. It will all be over soon.
Just my thought, usually single people skip out on Valentine’s Day and focus on the next day matters.
Now my take on this: many of the pointers above have been proven. And are opinionated. And I have to say even though some might sound or looked vague, but the fact of the matter, it’s real talk. Usually when I’m out in about on a break from work or from family, I go to the movies approximately 95% of the time. Why 95%? usually I save the 5% just in case if those want to go per say. That would be family only. Here in Milwaukee, I go to a place called Lakeshore State Park, just to get away and chill. All in with nature. Nothing but bikepaths to walk or exercise, a view of the lake, and a scene of Summerfest and the Downtown Buildings of the US Bank, Discovery World, the Milwaukee Art Museum and many other establishments of Milwaukee’s Third Ward Area. Even the Milwaukee Harbor near the Hoan Bridge. Now what does that have to do with being a single man? Absolutely, nothing. But this is part of what I do along taking pics. Even going to festivals or parties. Yes, as a single male I do check out Charlie Wilson or India.Arie doing their craft of Music whenever they come to town. Even fireworks. And shopping. And going for drive with the music turned up. Don’t get a ticket!
Again: what does that have to do with the male single-hood? Nothing. But at least it’s doing something to keep occupied.
Speaking of groups and outings besides working for the paycheck: join clubs. Rush a fraternity with a bachelor’s degree, join a male church group, get active with a group that would require a male point of view, blog, give back to your alumni groups, and many other occupied things. Single brothers, I’m just saying.
Now since I got this out and yes, I see the single ladies trying to be like, is that what they do?! Don’t trip females these are just examples. And I’ll admit I do some of the others examples to get me thinking of not being in a relationship. All it is, I’m just simply doing the favor of focusing on myself. With that comes health and financial stuff in which we all do. It reminds me of this biblical scripture. For the single men that follow the bible word, Revelations 3:8 says “I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.” We single folks still have an open door. We all have those doors that can be shut. But they can be opened if optional.
Finally, single men just continue to stand up what you believe in embracing the single thing. There are those who feel that “oh, they’ll end up being gay or alone all because they have no woman.” Since Black History Month is still in effect, Benjamin Banneker, the man who helped design Washington DC and many other inventions we see and observe in today’s era. Why him? He was a talented man. A talented African-American Scientist, Surveyor, Farmer, author and self educated taught. Made many discoveries and brought them to the forefront. But he was never married. And yes, he died alone in his cabin just shy of his 75th Birthday. Hey single black ladies and single ladies alike, you need to read up on Banneker! He may have not been married back in his day, but he did his work. Don’t judge, folks! I’m just saying.
Now I’m not making every single male in here, to follow the life of Benjamin Banneker. However, I am pointing out his work that kept him busy. Kept him occupied during his life. Think about what I just listed above. Then maybe in my opinion, it’ll sink in. So single men. Single brothers. Single Kings without kids, and without those Queens looking and seeking. Embace your singlehood. Wear it like a badge of honor. If folks ask you why you’re single, tell them I’m working on me! I’m focusing on me! I am focusing on important matters. I’m not focusing on a relationship. No matter if you’re surrounded by females or your family members digging in. My late grandfather used to say, “take your time.” Females when we say take your time in concerning us with this hooking up thing per say, we’re not dissing you. We’re just letting you know that patience is a virtue. Think about it. LOVE YOURSELF!